Hurricane Ned is the episode of The Simpsons that reveals why Ned doesn't get angry most of the time after a hurricane struck Springfield.
- Ned Flanders
- Homer Simpson
- Bart Simpson
- Chief Wiggum
- Barney Gumble
- Lenny Leonard
- Marge Simpson
- Lisa Simpson
- Moe Syzlac
- Krusty the Clown
- Maude Flanders
- Rodd and Todd
- Dr. Hibert
- Carl Carlson
- Barney Gumble
- Dr. Foster
In midst of a quiet afternoon, the wind starts to pick up, which leads Lisa to find out that a hurricane is on the way. Lisa warns Homer, but he is skeptical since there isn't any record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield. Lisa reminds her father that the records only go back to 1978, "when the Hall of Records was mysteriously blown away". The evening news confirms that 'Hurricane Barbara' is close, resulting in panicked citizens storming the Kwik-E-Mart and causing Homer to attempt to secure the Simpson home. The hurricane strikes and after a few treacherous hours, the storm ends and the family cautiously leaves the basement. Initially, they are thankful to see that their home is untouched and Marge comments that everything works out if one has a little faith. Meanwhile, next door Flanders emerges from a heap of rubble and sees that his house was destroyed, along with everything else he owned except the family gravestones.
Ned is relieved that his family escaped serious injury, but it turns out to be little solace since he does not have any homeowners' insurance, as he considers insurance a form of gambling. The Flanders family is forced to move into the Rescue Center in the church basement, although they appear to be the only family to be affected to that extent. Ned is further discouraged after learning that his business, the Leftorium, was looted following the hurricane. Distraught with annoyance, Flanders begins to believe that God is punishing him and, seeking answers, he goes to read the Bible in the church but receives a paper cut. Interpreting it as further punishment, he sits down and laments about how he is falling apart, even after doing everything the Bible says, even the things that contradict the other things.
The following day, Marge arrives at the church and takes the Flanders family back to their house, completely rebuilt by the people of Springfield. Overjoyed, Flanders inspects the house, but saddens after examining its extremely shoddy construction. The house soon collapses, causing Flanders to finally snap. Expressing his deep anger for the first time in the show, he 'tells off' (slanders) all the residents of Springfield and directs his most vehement invective at Homer (who believes he got off easy). Ned then drives himself to Calmwood Mental Hospital to seek therapy.
While in the asylum, Flanders is visited by his childhood psychiatrist, Dr. Foster, who informs Ned of his childhood existence - a completely out-of-control brat raised by beatnik parents who did not believe in discipline. As a result, the young Flanders went through the University of Minnesota Spankalogical Protocol, which involved eight months of continuous spanking. The treatment worked so well that it rendered Flanders unable to express any anger at all and resulted in his trademark nonsensical jabbering at moments when he was particularly close to losing his temper. This caused Ned to unknowingly repress his anger until it built up inside him and erupted in his tirade of insults directed at the townspeople.
Dr. Foster enlists Homer to help Flanders learn how to appropriately express emotions, as he is the person who Flanders harbors the most resentful feelings towards. After several failed generic remarks, Homer coaxes Flanders to admit that he hates the post office and his beatnik parents. Upon hearing this, Dr. Foster declares Flanders cured and he is immediately released without his house being rebuilt.
- Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did
their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be nice, hostidididildilidilly ah HELL diddily ding dong crap! Can't you morons do anything RIGHT!? [shocked gasps]
- Marge: Ned! We meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
- Ned: Well my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh,
your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because you have gooooooooood intentions!
- Bart: Hey! Back off, man!
- Ned: Ooh okay, duuuuude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaaan!
Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years: "Hey, Buddy, got a quarter?" [everyone gasps]
- Bart: I am shocked and appalled.
- Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything.
- Ned: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa
Simpson! Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED! [Wiggum laughs] What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law! The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of mallowmars!!
- Krusty: [writing it down] Mallowmars, oh that's going in the act!
- Ned: Oh, yeah. The clown, the only one of you buffoons who doesn't
make me laugh! [to Lenny] And as for you, I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk!
- Lenny: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
- Ned: [to Moe] You ugly, hate-filled man!
- Moe: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was
the third thing you said? [everyone backs away as Ned marches after Homer lastly]
- Ned: Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
- Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy.
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